Demyx's Aqua Pistols
by 2Foxxie4U
Summary: Xigbar's given Demyx a toy water-gun in hopes that he'll stop bugging him! It results in a lot of fun and games on Demyx's behalf, but will the other members find it so funny when they become his "targets"?
1. Loose Cannon Cop

It was a very boring Tuesday afternoon in The Castle That Never Was. Dangerously boring. Demyx sighed, shuffling through the hallway of the castle. "There's nothing to _do…"_ he whined. "I'm so bored, I can't _stand it…_" He heard slight noises coming from Xigbar's room. _Hmmm… Maybe Xiggy has something fun for me to do…_ he thought, wandering over to the Freeshooter's den.

He cracked open the door, and peeked inside. Xigbar had on headphones, and was bobbing his head slightly to the beat. He was chewing gum, and had his head tilted in concentration as he aimed one of his guns at a little outline of a person pinned up on the wall. Target practice, no doubt.

Demyx strode in. "Xigbar…!" he called. Xigbar didn't hear him. He shot a few times at the drawing's head. He was a little off. Huffing angrily, he took aim again.

"Xiiiiiiiiig-baaaaaaaar!" Demyx shouted, a little louder.

No response.

"_XIGGY!_"

Xigbar's eye twitched. "WHAT?" he snapped, lowering his gun. He pulled down his head phones, and blew out a huge purple bubble from his mouth, glaring at Demyx. He obviously wasn't in the best of moods since his aim was off that day.

"I'm boooooored…" Demyx moaned.

Xigbar shrugged, moodily. He popped the bubble, and stuffed the gum back in his mouth. "So? What do ya want ME to do about it?" He stuck his earphones back in his ears, and turned his attention back to his target. He was just about to pull the trigger, when…

"_Xig-baaaaaaar…!"_

"What _is_ it, you annoying little PRICK?" Xigbar growled, his eyes flashing angrily. He was NOT in the mood for Demyx's idiotic behavior right then…

Demyx was silent a moment, then moaned, "Booooor-reeeeee-duh…"

Xigbar sighed, rubbing his temples. It was pretty obvious to him now that Demyx wouldn't leave him alone 'til he gave him something to do. "Hold on…" he grumbled, fishing around in his pockets.

He dug around for a few seconds, then pulled out a small, violet water-gun out of his pocket. "Here… Go bug someone else with _this,_" he grumbled, tossing the gun at Demyx. He aimed at the drawing once more, his single eye narrowed into a slit. "Now, _piss off_."

"AWSOME!" Demyx shouted, grinning at the small toy. He cleared his throat, and said in his "tough guy" voice, "I'm a loose cannon cop, who lives life on the edge, and _doesn't_ play by the rules…"

Xigbar snorted, slightly. _Heh… Imagine that._

Demyx giggled, filled it with water, and chirped, "Well…! See ya later, Xiggy!"

He was about to leave, when Xigbar lowered his gun to his side. "Hold on…"

"Hmmm?" Demyx blinked, then turned around to look at the Freeshooter. "What is it, Xiggy?"

Xigbar was silent a while, then said in a tough, New York accent, "It's a tough world out there, see? I don't wanna see ya get hurt…" He turned around, his face grim. "Just be sure ya make it back in one piece, okay, kid?"

Demyx giggled slightly, cleared his throat, and said in a horrible imitation of Xigbar's tough voice, "Got it. Even if they kill me, I _will_ make it back in one piece. Uh… _See?_" He giggled some more, the waved. "See ya, Xigbar! Thanks for the gun!" He scurried off.

Xigbar smiled slightly, shook his head, and aimed at the target, and shot. _Bull's eye! __SHAZZAM! _he thought, pumping his fist up into the air.

**~~OOooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO**

Demyx scampered from shadow to shadow, glancing around suspiciously. _Let's see… Who should be the first victim for me…?_ He thought for a second, then snapped his fingers. "Of course… _Zexion!_" he murmured, grinning. He scampered over to Zexion's room, silently.

He opened the door quietly, looking around. Zexion was lying on his bed, reading some kind of magazine – he couldn't really tell what, though. Demyx flung the door open, and aimed the gun at Zexion's head. "Mind if I come in…?" he asked.

"Sure," Zexion answered, without even looking up.

Demyx crept up to the unsuspecting member, still aiming at his head.

"So… What do you—"

"It's curtains for you," Demyx growled.

"Huh?" Zexion looked up just as Demyx pulled the trigger. He got hit right between the eyes. He blinked, then said, dryly, "Oh no… I'm dead."

"Yup!" Demyx chirped, nodding. "Where are the others?"

Zexion wiped his face, then looked back at his magazine. "You're asking me? _I_ thought I was dead."

Demyx blinked. "Uh… Well, um… You're HALF dead!"

Zexion sighed, rolling his eyes. "They're still in their rooms I presume… Why not go check it out?"

"Thanks!" Demyx whipped out his gun, and shot Zexion in the face again.

Zexion glared at him.

"Now you're ALL dead!" Demyx shouted, grinning.

"Whatever…" Zexion grumbled, wiping his face again.

That's when Demyx examined the magazine Zexion was reading… Like… _really _looked at it. "Hey… You're not supposed to be reading _THOSE_ kinds of magazines, Zexion!" he protested.

"Oh, shut up," Zexion grumbled, opening it back to the page he was on. "You're not my mother…"

Demyx narrowed his eyes. "… I'm tellin' Xemnas…"

"Nonsense. You'd never do that."

"Why not?"

"Because, dear Waterboy…" Zexion paused to lick his finger and turned the page. "… If you did that, then Saix would know _exactly_ what happened to his precious cheesecake that cost him 3,000 munny and—"

"Well, gotta go, Zexxy! Things to do, people to see, you understand – BYE!" Demyx dashed off.

Zexion watched him run off, then looked back at his magazine. "… Moron."

**~~OOooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO**

Luxord sighed. He was at his computer desk, happily snuggling with a plushy that looked like Xigbar. On his computer, you could see a "Party Poker" window up, and, obviously, he was the winner of the game. He didn't seem to be paying it any mind, though. "Ah… How I wish this were the real you…" he sighed, smiling at his beloved plushy.

Suddenly, Demyx kicked the door open. "LUXORD!" he shouted, dashing in.

"Oh, crap!—" Luxord quickly shoved the plushy into a drawer below his desk. He quickly whipped around. "D-Demyx! What are you—?"

Demyx raised his gun. "You must be tired of livin'."

Luxord glanced at the gun, and ended up with an instant spaz attack. "GWAAAAGH! H'OH MY GAWD, HE'S GOT A GUN! _HEEEELP!_" He stood up so fast, that his chair fell over. He tried to get away, but he actually ended up tripping _backwards_ on the chair. He flailed his arms around, trying to regain his balance, but ended up sprawling on his back anyways. To make it worse, his legs were now tangled in the chair.

"Ow…" he whimpered.

"Heh heh heh…" Demyx chuckled, evilly, as he stalked over to his prey. He raised the gun to Luxord's head, smirking.

"No!" Luxord yelped, raising his hands to shield his face. "Demyx, DON'T! I—"

"Save your excuses for the _devil_." With that, Demyx shot Luxord point blank on the head.

Luxord flinched, then blinked, confused. He wiped the liquid off his face. "W… Water…?" he asked, staring at it, incredulously.

Demyx clutched his stomach, and started roaring with laughter. "Well, DUUUUUR! You thought I'd really shoot you?" He started laughing even more, leaning on Luxord's desk for support. He even started banging his fist on it. Tears appeared in the corner of his eyes. "H'OH MY GAWD! _WHAT AN IDIOT! __BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! **WAAAAAAH** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!_"

Luxord blinked, looked down at his hand with water on it, and started flailing his arms about, angrily. "AAAAAGHHHH! I can't believe you TRICKED me!" he screamed.

"I can't believe you FELL for it!" Demyx laughed back. "HAHAHA! What a doofus!" He started to walk off, still giggling to himself.

Luxord felt his cheeks turn hot. "HEY! Show some respect for your elders!"

"HA! You sound like _Vexen!_" Demyx stopped at the door frame and waved. "Ta-ta!"

He slammed the door behind him.

**~~OOooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO**

Roxas was sitting on the edge of his bed, reading a thick book. He looked genuinely interested in it.

_BAM!_

"Wha'?" Roxas yelped, looking up.

Demyx was crouching just out side of his bedroom, his head on the floor. "One…" he was whispering to himself. "Two… Three!" He pushed off a little, and slowly rolled inside.

"FREEZE! _NON-STOP!_" he shouted, jumping up, and aiming at Roxas. His hair now looked like he'd been running around, sticking forks in power sockets, but he didn't really care at that moment.

Roxas flinched. He slipped a Keyblade bookmark into his book, and held up his hands up. "Uh… Demyx…? What are you—?"

"ROXAS!" Demyx yelled, stalking forward. "I know what you've been up to!"

Roxas blinked, now completely confused. "…Huh?"

Demyx's eyes narrowed. He aimed the gun at Roxas' head once more. "You're better off _dead._"

"Wait, WHA—Ahhhh!" Roxas held up his hands to shield his face from the little squirts of water. "Demyx! STOP!" he shouted.

Demyx grinned maliciously. "Still alive, huh…?" He shot Roxas even more.

"YAAAAAAAAH!" Roxas screamed. Finally, he collapsed on his bed. "Okay, okay, I'm DEAD! Ya happy now!" he shrieked.

Demyx stared at him for a few moments, then turned around, and started walking out the door. "… I don't kill minors…" he said, coolly.

Roxas watched him walk out of his room. "Idiot…" he grumbled, reaching for his book again, and wiping his face. "You just DID!"

**_To be continued…_**

**~~OOooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO**

**_And now for a message from your lord and savior!  
_**

So I finally decided to get off my ass and do this 4 rl rl, and not for play play. After about... a year or so, I'm finally committing to my account! Wowee! So don't be surprised if you suddenly see a flood of new submitted... things.

Anyways. In most of my fanfics ( though in none of the ones that I have currently posted... . *cough* ), Demyx is Xigbar's... Well, I guess you could say "apprentice". This is how it started... But, yeah, before this, the two were fighting like mad dogs CONSTANTLY! XDDD

This is HUGELY inspired by a manga that I have. XD Yotsuba&! book... Uh... Two, I think. XD The main character ( a little girl, maybe about 6 ) went around shooting people with a squirt gun. ( dur. XD ) And I did a "ZOMGZERS, THIS IS SO CUTE, LOLZ! XD" From that point, I knew that I just HAD to use it somewhere... XD

At first it was gonna be Xigbar, but then I decided, "Nah - it'd be better if Demyx done it. XD"

Demyx shooting Saix in the middle of his scar was done in a comic by a person on Deviantart named Psycrowe. I don't think she does much KH fan stuff, but you should still check out her amazing works of amazingness.


	2. With Pizza!

Axel was in bed, asleep. A bare arm hung off the edge of the bed. It had been so warm, lately, that he was sleeping in nothing but his boxers.

Demyx silently stalked up to the edge of his bed, an insane grin on his face. Without thinking, he aimed the gun up the unfortunate redhead's nose, and… pulled the trigger.

Axel's eyes snapped open. He shot up, holding his hand to his face, and blowing frantically. "PWAH! Agh…!" he looked at Demyx, confused. "… Wha'… Whu'…?"

Demyx cracked up. "BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Water came outta your NOSE, Axel! WAAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Axel's eyes narrowed into slits.

"WATER!" Demyx shouted again. "_FROM YOUR NOSE! _WAH—"

_BWAF!_

Demyx was smacked in the face with a pillow. Axel jumped up. "Why you little…" he growled, raising his pillow once again.

"Hu'-oh!" Demyx gasped. "YAAAAH!" he raised his gun and started shooting Axel repeatedly.

"HEY! Cut it out!" Axel screamed, attempting to shield his face with his pillow. It did him no good. Within seconds, he was soaked to the bone.

Demyx finally concluded that he'd had enough, and lowered his gun.

Mistake.

Axel slowly brought his pillow down from his face, and glared at Demyx. There was a dark shadow on his face. Suddenly, the pillow disappeared. In its place was one of Axel's chackrams. You could practically feel the ground rumbling with his suppressed rage.

"…" Demyx glanced at the chackram, spun around, and sprinted to the door.

"YAH!" Axel screamed, as he hurled the chackram at the Waterboy's head.

Demyx did a double take at the flying chackram. "HUP!" he shouted completely on impulse as he dove out of the room. The chackram whistled through the air like a missile, and sank into the wall with a _TWANG!_

Demyx stared at the chackram, and scurried away.

**~~OOooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO**

Unlike the rest of the Organization members Demyx had shot, Saix was walking down the hallway when he found him. By the look on his face, and the speed he was going, he was most likely on an errand for Xemnas. What a suck-up.

Demyx fled from shadow to shadow, spying on Saix. He pulled out an imaginary walky-talky and held it up to his face, still spying on The Berserker.

"Demyx number one," he drawled into the invisible walky-talky, "we've got a moon man waltzin' over to the beetle farm for Mary-Kate an' Ashley, over…"

He made a static noise with his mouth, and said, "I have no idea what cha just said, Demyx number two, but I'm goin' in, over. _ka-chshhh._"

"May Kingdom Hearts have mercy on your soul, Demyx number one. Over and out. _ka-chshhhh._"

He peeked at Saix again from his cover. It looked like Saix hadn't heard any of his nonsense. He sighed. _One… Two… THREE!_

He dashed over to Saix. "Hey, _Sailor Moon!_" he screamed.

Saix stopped abruptly. He growled and whipped around. "Who said th—" He was cut off by a squirt of water that hit him right in the forehead. He blinked, and stared at Demyx.

Demyx was pointing at Saix's head, and cracking up. He'd shot him right in the center of Saix's huge 'X'. "Well, ya know what they say, Saix! 'X marks the spot'! HAHAHAHAHA—"

Saix growled, and summoned his claymore. He glared at Demyx, eyes flashing. "In the name of the moon, I SHALL PUNISH YOU!" he roared, lifting it high in the air.

"HAHAHA! You said—_Agh!_" Demyx jumped to the side as the claymore went whipping beside him, and buried itself in the floor. Demyx squeaked, whipped around, and took off.

"Demyx number two! This is Demyx number one saying… HAUL BUTT! OVER!" he screamed into his imaginary walky-talky.

"HEY, GET BACK HERE!" Saix screamed, chasing after Demyx. "_RAAAAAAGHHHH!_" He tried to chop off the poor Waterboy's head.

Demyx screamed, and ducked at the last minute, making the claymore smash into the wall instead. "ROGER! Demyx number two HAULIN' BUTT! _OVER AND OUT!"_

"_I'm gonna slice your head off, rip out your eyes and feed them to the BIRDS!_" Saix screamed, practically foaming at the mouth.

Demyx skid around the corner, and quietly jumped into an unoccupied room. Ironically, it was Saix's room – the one place Saix would never think of looking in.

Demyx glanced around a few seconds, then dove under the bed. Saix thundered right past. "WHERE ARE YA? _COME OUT AND TAKE YOUR BEATING LIKE A NOBODY!"_ the Berserker shouted.

_MAN, that was close! I gotta be more careful! _Demyx thought, sighing.

**~~OOooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO**

Yeah right. _Careful._ Like there ever WAS such a thing in Demyx's world. He'd had close calls with, not only Axel and Saix, but with Xaldin. And Vexen… And the Superior… And, as for Larxene… It must have been her time of the month or SOMETHING. He thought that he wouldn't make it out alive. But he'd successfully "killed" every single one.

He brushed his hand over his hair to make sure that Xemnas's aero-blades hadn't singed his mullet any. Fortunately, no damage was done. He sighed in relief, then smiled deviously. "Great… So that means the only one left…" He gently nudged the door of one member's room open. "… Is Xigbar…" he finished, softly.

Xigbar was now at his desk, on the phone with some random girl. His feet were kicked up, casually, and he was leaning back dangerously far. But then again, he was the master of space, so why should he worry about falling?

"Yeah… Uh-huh…" Xigbar said, casually rubbing his fingernails on his shirt. "No, not really… Well why do you want to… Hm?"

He looked back to see Demyx grinning evilly, and pointing the gun at his head. "Don't talk…" he commanded.

Xigbar blinked, staring at the gun aimed at his head.

"_What's going on?" _asked the girl on the other end of the line.

Xigbar smiled. "Oh, I've got a gun pointed at me," he said to her.

Demyx's eyes narrowed. "No talking!"

"_WHAT?"_ shrieked the girl on the other end.

"I'm being told not to talk!" laughed Xigbar.

"Hey! I'm WARNING you! Watch it!" screamed Demyx.

Xigbar turned around, continuing his conversation with the girl. "Huh? Yeah… Nah, it'll be okay."

Demyx snapped. "YOU ASKED FOR IT!"

He pulled the trigger.

_K-CHT…_

He blinked. "… Huh…?" He pulled the trigger a few more times.

_K-CHT K-CHT K-CHT_

No water.

Xigbar looked back at him, smiling slyly. "Tsk, tsk, little dude… _Always_ make sure you have enough bullets left to finish the deed…~"

Demyx pouted. _I'll show ya, ya little…_ He turned around, grumbling to himself, and began refilling the little gun with water once more, as Xigbar went back to his conversation on the phone.

_Hah… That'll do it…_ thought Demyx with a devious grin. He looked back at Xigbar. Now, the Freeshooter was sitting sideways on the chair, his arm dangling off the back of it. Still talking.

Demyx turned completely around, and aimed his gun at Xigbar's head again right as the Freeshooter said on his phone, "Okay… See ya later." A small beep was heard as he turned his phone off.

Demyx grinned, and was about to pulled the trigger, when…

"_HYA!_" Xigbar suddenly whipped around, and karate-chopped the gun out of Demyx's hand! Demyx stared at it on the floor dumbly – he hadn't planned for something like this… "Uh… Huh?" he asked, blinking. …And it was safe to say that he didn't exactly have the reaction skills of a cat…

Xigbar quickly scooped the gun up, and aimed it at Demyx's head, grinning maliciously.

"Wha'?" Demyx yelped, his eyes wide.

Xigbar chuckled. "Say goodbye, ya little assassin…!" he sang. And he pulled the trigger.

Demyx winced as he was shot right on the forehead. He stood there for a moment, his face dripping with water, then collapsed on the ground with a little moan. And was still.

Xigbar stared at him, his face emotionless. He grinned slowly, and suddenly started shooting Demyx repeatedly with water.

"GWAAAAUGH!" Demyx shouted, flailing about again.

Xigbar, however, was greatly enjoying himself. "BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHA!" he cackled. "_And say hello to my leetle friend!_" he shouted, imitating Scarface. He popped the little pug off the back of the gun, and dumped the rest of the water right on top of Demyx.

"Alright, alright, I'M DEAD!" yelled Demyx, frantically. He went limp. "SEE?" he closed his eyes, stuck out his tongue, and laid there, motionless.

After a moment, Zexion stuck his head in the room. "Hey, guys. Vexen just ordered pizza. Who wants some?"

Demyx popped up. "ME!" he shouted.

Xigbar blinked. "He came back to life…!" he whispered, with mock surprise as Zexion disappeared out of view.

Demyx jumped up, shook himself like a dog, then turned back to Xigbar, grinning. "Thanks again for letting me use your gun, Xiggy!" he shouted.

Xigbar shrugged. "Don't mention it." He grinned. "Now scram."

Demyx nodded, then took off through the door. Zexion was outside, his arms crossed. "Follow me," he murmured, walking off.

Demyx cheerily followed. Before long, they found themselves at the entrance to Vexen's lab. Zexion opened the door, and slowly walked in. There was only one light on. He stepped in the circle of light, and looked back at Demyx.

Demyx blinked, and wandered in behind him. "Hey, uh… Where's the pizz—AH!"

The door to the lab slammed shut, making the lone light bulb above the only source of light. Demyx gulped. "Uh… Zexxy? What's that all…" he trailed off. Zexion was gone. "… About…?" _Okay… This is starting to get reeeeeally creepy…_ he thought, looking around. "Uh… Guys…?" he whimpered. "G—"

"So…" a voice from nowhere hissed, "you like shooting people with water guns, do you…?"

Demyx recognized the voice. "X-Xemnas…? Uh… I was just joking ya know—"

"Humph! _Joking_, you say?" another voice cut in. Xaldin.

"Well, _idiot_, some of us don't exactly go well with water. Got it memorized?" Axel.

"Such a thoughtless action deserves _severe punishment_…" Saix.

"SEVERE PUNISHMENT?" Demyx yelped. "B-But all I did was squirt everyone with a water gun!"

"Okay… You caught us." Larxene stepped into the light, holding her kunai in one hand and some coiled rope in the other. There was an evil grin on her face. "We just wanted to see someone get mutilated." she confessed. "Shall we proceed…?"

"YES!" This time, Demyx could hear everyone in the Organization's voice – save Xigbar, and Lexaeus. The bigger man had been called away for an important mission earlier. Roxas stepped in the light, wielding both Keyblades and Saix appeared from the opposite end of the circle, holding his claymore. Both of their faces were covered in evil grins. Far off, he saw two faint, indistinct rings of fire flash along with two identical red blades.

"AUGH! Guys, guys, I'm sorry! I won't do it again! Honest!" He heard them all laughing cruelly as they closed in.

"You know what they say, Demyx…" Luxord growled from somewhere in the dark. "Boredom _kills._"

A few seconds later, you could hear Demyx, about, ten miles away, screaming things like, "AAAAGH! No, Saix, DON'T! _OW!_ Holy crud, I think that was a vital—Wait! Roxas! THE KEYBLADE DOESN'T GO THERE! No, wait! Xaldin! I need that to—AAAAAAAAUUUGGGHHHHHH! Mommy, Mommy, make it STOP! _WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_"

The moral of this story is… Revenge is a dish best served cold… With pizza.

_**The end!**_

**~~OOooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO****ooOOooOO**

_**And now for a message from your lord and savior!**_

Poor Demmy. He should really not taunt people who could rearrange one's internal organs with about the same remorse that they'd feel for crushing a bug. And so, his reign or terror has been put to an abrupt end!And the peasants rejoice! 8D Don't feel too sorry for him, though - Lexaeus walked in on the carnage and put it to an end before they could scar his face as much as they'd already scarred his mind. ^^ More on their relationship later.

Grah... , why does your uploading system gotta be so damn complicated? Sorry if you got this story twice, peoples - I'm still working out the bugs, here. D8

Night!


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